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Joke of the Day

"What ward does Sauron visit in the hospital? ICU"

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A Lickalottapuss! *credit goes to my brother-in-law who recently told me that one"

"I carry around a note in my wallet that says, ""The curse must be passed, I'm so sorry"" in case it's ever stolen."

"I still can't get over the news about the marathon.. Even though it happened more than 20 years ago, I'll never get used to calling it Snickers."

"why i call my girlfriend warm beer my girlfriend asked me why i sometimes call her warm beer, i told her very few want her sober but while drunk shes fair game."

"If I could be any animal I'd pick a turtle, strictly for the chance, however slight, I could be turned into a ninja."

"I heard the Vatican was making a movie. The name? Pope Fiction"

"What kind of bees make the best milk? Boo Bees!"

"Tonight's Democratic debate"

"What is a geometry teachers favorite movie? Angles in the Outfield"