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Joke of the Day

"Do you know why Jesus doesn't play hockey? Because he always get nailed into the boards."

"Cookie. I would give you a cookie, but I took a byte out of it."

"My wife googled ""when is it safe to leave a child at home alone"" and now she won't let me stay home alone."

"Wife. Would you cut the label off my dress. Me. Sure *Snip* There you go. Wife. Thanks. Me. No problem. *Kicks pony tail under bed."

"Bill Clinton jokes never get old What does Bill Clinton say to Hillary after sex? ""I'll be home in 20 minutes."""

"What do you say to a two headed monster? Hello hello."

"What do you get when you kiss a bird? Chirpies. It's a Canarial Disease. It's Untweetable!"

"I made a really sexy gravy. It was saucy. I put a few raisins in it, but it started getting fruity."

"I told my neighbor with a cute daughter this joke today and it's killing him. Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Because they spend years at 'C'"

"What did the pirate say when he had a steering wheel down his pantaloons? Arr! It's driving me nuts!"