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Joke of the Day

"Wife. Would you cut the label off my dress. Me. Sure *Snip* There you go. Wife. Thanks. Me. No problem. *Kicks pony tail under bed."

"In space, no one can hear your spouse chew."

"I see said the blind man... ...as he picked up his hammer and saw."

"Q: How does Al Gore spell potato? A: T-A-T-E-R."

"[invents time machine and goes back to the dinosaurs] ""in a few years its gonna be really cold"" *hands them mixtape* ""you're gone need this"""

".oneliner ihave a friend who does porn; she says it.s not as hard as it looks..."

"Letsh Have Shex! Horny Sean Connery"

"Donald Trump, Barack Obama and Putin walk into a bar.. and walk out after having a drink. What else did you expect they would do in a bar?"

"-""I hear the Israeli PM isn't too worried about that latest hack because.."" -""Please don't"" -""...Benjamin's Not on Yahoo"" -""I'm leaving you"""

"KiK? Nope. I only joke about divorce. I'm not committed to it actually happening."