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Joke of the Day

"Cookie. I would give you a cookie, but I took a byte out of it."

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"Sometimes I leave a trail of pizza crumbs around the house so I can find my way back to the TV"
"My motto in life is always give 100%. Which makes blood donation quite tricky."
"X post from meanjokes: michael schumacher regained consciousness today, have your heard how the doctors did it? They sat him on the window seat of the bus"
"I just used ""volumizing"" shampoo for the first time.... Everything sounds the same."
"My wife has been binge watching episodes of snapped, so I cancelled my life insurance policy, and haven't slept or eaten in days."
"I don't think any of us would have made it to a life boat on Titanic."
"What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and the other is a pause and the end of a clause."
"Our team is doing so badly that ""Manager of the Month"" isn't an award. It's an appointment!"
"Thank God you've updated your status to ""Finished lunch"" after you first posted ""Going to lunch"" I really couldn't tolerate more suspense."