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Joke of the Day

"What did the pirate say when he had a steering wheel down his pantaloons? Arr! It's driving me nuts!"

"Ebola seems pretty serious I think I might take one more flinstone vitamin in the morning from now on."

"In Iraq why don't they teach drivers ed and sex ed on the same day? The camel gets too tired."

"Why cant you email a photo to a Jedi? Because Attachments are forbidden."

"My Grandfather... My grandfather covered himself in lard a month before his death... After that he went downhill very quickly."

"""What's your greatest strength?"" Shadow puppetry ""Seriously?"" [interviewer presses intercom button] ""Pat, please bring a flashlight in here"""

"What has 5 balls and rapes the poor? The lottery."

"How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it is a hardware problem."

"Responding as if you've just been wrongfully accused of murder when someone on the phone asks if you're still in bed"

"*takes 400 selfies to find one I think is good enough to post* caption: Just a random quick shot, I love capturing these special moments"