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Joke of the Day

"God lets you know where you stand with him by how tangled your headphones get."

"Why do women close their eyes during sex? Because they can't stand to see a man happy."

"What do broccoli and sex have in common? NSFW If you were forced to have it as a child you're gonna hate it as an adult."

"What do you call unpredictable nudity? Erratica."

"So an Irishman walks out of bar... Haha no he didn't"

"It's the time of year when we are forced to confront America's greatest tragedy: men wearing winter scarves way too early."

"what did one snowman say to the other snowman? can you smell carrots?"

"How many golfers does it take to change a light bulb? FORE!"

"The cranberries used to write songs that would get stuck in your head, in your heeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!"

"Ian: It's done. Mafia boss: Did you go anywhere nice? I: What? MB: Like a restaurant. I: I killed him. MB: I said take him out! Oh god, Tim!"