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Joke of the Day

"Ian: It's done. Mafia boss: Did you go anywhere nice? I: What? MB: Like a restaurant. I: I killed him. MB: I said take him out! Oh god, Tim!"

"What do ghosts drink for Halloween? BOOOOZE!"

"What's it called when you apologize using dots and dashes? Remorse code"

"How many Trump supporters does it take to change a lightbulb? THE LIGHTBULB IS FINE. THERE IS NO PROBLEM WITH IT. I MADE LIGHTBULBS WITH GOOD MANAGEMENT. LET'S MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN."

"A girl's best asset is her lie' ability"

"She's not my fake internet girlfriend, she's my eBae."

"I asked the Nazi store for a discount They gave me 8 off."

"If you can't walk into your walk in closet, you might just live with your girlfriend."

"Doctor: Open your mouth (inserts tongue depressor) Me: Mmm, this tastes good. Dr: You should have tasted it when the Popcicle was on it!"

"There are two things a true man never chases... His liquor nor his women."