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Joke of the Day

"It's the time of year when we are forced to confront America's greatest tragedy: men wearing winter scarves way too early."

"It takes a keen ear to pick out a girl's ""I haven't finished but I know you're about to, so I'll try to be supportive"" moan."

"""The only thing we have to fear is fear itself, and being tagged in a super unflattering photo."""

"There is no law stating that you have to explain why you're carrying a purse full of hair when going through security."

"I asked my wife what to wear to this black tie event. She said ""When in Rome"". So, I'm going as a naked, terrified Christian. With a tie."

"This morning some bloke drove up to my house in a huge lorry and dumped off a massive pile of lego blocks. I'm so furious I don't know what to make of it."

"Define ""no more Twitter or I will leave you."""

"What do you call a dinosaur with a big penis? Megalodong."

"What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits."

"My doctor's just told me I am suffering from paranoia Well, he didn't actually say that, but I could tell it was what he was thinking"