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Joke of the Day

"We need to look at how the world really works, not just accept the way we are told it works."

"I like my women like I like my coffee From that cheap place down on the corner."

"Personally, I don't find swearing offensive. I think it adds character & emphasis to a conversation. I do find, backstabbing, lying, cheating and screwing people over offensive, but not swearing."

"The fact that there is even such a thing as ugly hookers tells you pretty much all you need to know about men."

"Two angels run out of weed... One angel is very upset but the other consoles him. ""Fear not,"" he says and he points to Jesus. ""For he has resin."""

"What did the optimist say to his doctor when he found out he had lung cancer? ""Well, I'll deal with this asbestos I can!"""

"Why don't White Elephants run? because they Ele-cant....Can somebody explain this to me? (Seriously, I don't get it, is it like Elegant?)"

"Whats the difference between a priest and acne? Acne waits till you're 12 to come on your face"

"I asked God for a bike... ... but then realized that is not how God works. So I stole some kid's bike and asked God for forgiveness."

"*live news report - You survived a fall of thousands of feet... - Yes. - Parachute failed? - Parachute? Haha. No. It was raining centipedes."