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Joke of the Day

"The fact that there is even such a thing as ugly hookers tells you pretty much all you need to know about men."

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"what do you get when you mix 9th grade literature with alcohol? Tequila mockingbird."
"Walked in on my Dad chopping up Onions and I started to cry Onions was a good dog.."
"I'm a tree born and raised in Israel... ...A Hasidic Yew."
"I used to have a part time job helping a one-armed typist write capital letters It was shift work."
"""Sure, you could bury it but hear me out."" Taxidermy is invented."
"How many black people does it take to start a riot? -1"
"[gf takes pregnancy test, starts crying] ""It's negative"" Lemme see it [reads] 'Not prego. Just fat. And ugly' Wow that's really negative"
"If the Dove is ""The Bird Of Peace"" What's the bird of love? The Swallow."
"Quit blaming your iPhone. You meant to say ""furbenglurbrn."""