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Joke of the Day

"Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?...No you hang up first! Hello? 911?"

"Everything Must Go? You should have had that attitude before going out of business."

"A man walks into a tailor to buy a tuxedo. He confidently tells the tailor he doesn't need any assistance. The tailor says... ... ""Fine. Suit yourself."""

"I'm rabidly against plagiarism, but I guess if you're going to steal something, a Columbus joke at least makes sense"

"Tomorrow is Fathers Day. I heard iPad accessories are the big thing for Father's Day this year. I got my dad a leather case, a screen protector and a new charger. If he ever gets an iPad he's all set."

"Why aren't PhDs real doctors? Because real doctors have cures."

"What do African-Americans and Jews have in common? An increased risk for pancreatic adenocarcinoma."

"What do you call a funny snake? HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTERICAL ^^^my ^^^son ^^^^told ^^^^^me ^^^^^^this ^^^^^^^one.."

"Why did the Mexican school girl get pregnant? Here teacher said to go home and do her ""essay""."

"Why don't they let Pakistanis take corners in soccer? Because they'll set up a shop."