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Joke of the Day

"Why don't they let Pakistanis take corners in soccer? Because they'll set up a shop."

"What is WILL.I.AM going to be called after he dies? WILL.I.WAS"

"Cat saves kid? Please. My cat would've pushed me into traffic, stolen my identity, & would be living it up in Mexico by now."

"What do you call a black person on the moon? An astronaut. What else would you call them?"

"Bio joke time! What did one cell say to his sister cell that stepped on his foot? Mitosis."

"jesus could get on twitter and be like ""fear not, child. i know for a fact that your going to heaven!"" and someone would be like ""you're""."

"What do you call it when a neurologist is found embezzling and he later runs away? A Fraudian slip."

"If I had a dollar for every dollar I had... I would be a counterfeiter."

"There's a skinny girl inside me who is just DYING to get out. She stole the last cupcake & then bragged about her metabolism, so I ate her."

"Did you hear about the sequel to Snakes on a Plane with giant, poisonous centipedes? It got cancelled. There wasn't enough legroom."