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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a blind, mentally handicapped, quadriplegic? You can call him whatever you want; it's not like he's going to get up and do anything about it."

"What do you call a dead fowl that is haunting you? A Poltergeese!"

"How do you find Will Smith when he's lost in the snow? You look for the fresh prints."

"A better world I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned."

"When your friend offers you free food, all trust is gone out the window!!! The fuck did you do to it? Nothing, I swear! Okay I'll take a fucking bite."

"My kids operate the house under the HYDRA principle For every light I turn off, three more get turned on to take their place."

"Don't let a man put anything over on you except an umbrella."

"Bath in Milk Why do you take baths in milk? I can not find a cow tall enough for a shower."

"If anyone's interested, I teach a little Web Browsing 101 course every time I talk to my mom ever."

"My girlfriend was masturbating with a carrot in the back seat of my car I shouted, ""Fuck! Seriously? I was going to eat that later, and now it's just going to taste like carrots!"""