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Joke of the Day

"I've been told the best humour is self deprecating. But I'm rubbish at it."

"Two wolves are chasing a Golden Retriever through the forest. After an hour, the first wolf says to the second wolf, ""Ain't this a bitch?"" To which the second wolf responds, ""It had better be""."

"""There's a horse in my leg?! Why are you taking out my Adam's Apple? What's wrong with my nose?""- Guy from 'Operation'"

"A little boy went up to his father and asked, ""Dad, where did my intelligence come from? Father replied, ""Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, because I still have mine."""

"Two fish were in a tank. One looks to the other and says, do you know how to drive this? Now, two sharks were in a tank. One looks to the other and says, I don't think that's enough equity."

"To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present, they are due back at the library today."

"Of all the cars in Italy... Mussolini's is the fascist."

"You know what's sad? 3 of my team members dying of drinking poison and the last dying of a fractured neck because he didn't drink the poison"

"EU wants to congratulate US for their free healthcare.. .. because you did vote for Bernie didn't you?"

"Honey Boo Boo evolves into Sugar Scab! Pokemon is back baby!"