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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between John Kenndy Jr. and Ted Kennedy? Ted can swim away from an accident."

"Nothing like the dreaded ""Mom I missed the bus"" text to get you up and moving."

"What do you call the debut of a new beer? A saison premiere!"

"[battle] ME: It's no good. We gotta quit SARGE: Quit? I don't know the meaning of the word M: It means give up S: Oh cool. Lets do that"

"The monkey at the zoo ruined my new shirt. I should have seen it coming."

"Did you hear about the guy who said there were no rivers in Africa? He was in de-Nile."

"What's the difference between old people and babies (offensive) Old people don't die if you fuck them in the ass."

"How does the man in the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it."

"What do you call a stingy douchebag who likes plants? A prick"

"How do u kill a blonde ? Give her a knife and ask her who is the prettiest of all ."