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Joke of the Day

"You know what's sad? 3 of my team members dying of drinking poison and the last dying of a fractured neck because he didn't drink the poison"

"[invention of blue cheese] ""this cheese has gone off"" sell it ""but it's gone mouldy"" I SAID SELL IT! ""fine"" & double the price ""are u ok?"""

"What is a ginger author doing when they plant a misleading clue in their book? Red hairing."

"My girlfriend was taking a survey online about ""Which holiday describes your sex life?"" She wasn't happy with me when I chimed in, ""Day of the Dead."""

"A naked women robbed a bank.... A naked women robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face"

"Bernie demands change... whereas Hillary prefers cards or cheques."

"I dread doing laundry as if I didn't have a machine that washes the clothes for me and another that dries them for me, as I do nothing"

"How does Moses make tea? He brews it."

"The Jews may be the ""Chosen People""... ... But the Muslims are the ""Randomly Selected""."

"If you're ever feeling down, remember that you're unique Just like everyone else"