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Joke of the Day
"How do you kill a snail? With an as-salt rifle!"
Next Joke
"4yo: let me smell your eyelashes! Me:...ok 4yo:smells like spiders. What if they eat your face? Me: this is how nightmares are born."
"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over ? Me: You wanted to watch me lick my ice cream cone ? Cop: Just go please"
"What's long and hard and full of seamen? The tube sock under my bed."
"What's the difference between lobsters and crabs? I don't *have* lobsters!"
"What do you call a horse with a broken leg? Worthless"
"if I am elected governor I will eat your pillow while you sleep and unlike my opponent I will also do it if I am not elected"
"[Shopping with teen son] *sees hot girl* *waits until she gets close* *grabs box of adult diapers* ""How are you doing on Depends bud?"""
"I took a bus in Thailand And I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl. All I could think to myself was, ""Don't get an erection, don't get an erection""... but she did."
"If Wednesday is hump day... Would that make Tuesday foreplay day?"