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Joke of the Day
"If Wednesday is hump day... Would that make Tuesday foreplay day?"
Next Joke
 
"[turns up radio in the car] Me: I love this song. I want us to conceive our first child to it Hitchhiker: dude just drop me off here"
"Ah Twitter, never have so many said so much that mattered so little to so few."
"Winter is like the Justin Bieber of seasons... It was kind of cute and exciting when it first started out, now its a bit obnoxious and should probably just stay in Canada."
"What did Iron say to Silver after 30 years? You haven't AG-ed a bit."
"I already know what I want to be when I get older.. Younger"
"What do you call a gay club in the 70's? Phallic! at the Disco"
"Ladies, please keep it down a bit, a large group of white men are in Washington trying to sort out your birth control."
"Has anyone woken up Green Day yet?"
"What happens if you steal in Afghanistan? You get Talibanned"