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Joke of the Day

"Wait, you've got 99 bottles of beer on the wall? A. You should be refrigerating those, not putting them on a wall. B. You are an alcoholic."

"I threw a parking cone at someone. I am the drunkest person in the United states."

"The average person has sex 89 times a year. This is gonna be one hell of a week."

"Joke from New Zealand: ""What's a Hindu?"" Lays iggs."

"I think Christmas is made for Mexicans only... ...why else would you wish Merry Christmas to every Juan!? *badumtss*"

"What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery? A yeaster bunny!"

"I was going to confess to this girl, until I found out that... Oops, wrong sub. Was meant to post this on /r/atheism."

"Me: You should be nicer to me. You'll never have another dad. 5-year-old: Don't be so sure. Mom is pretty."

"What do you call a broken can opener? A can't opener"

"Dammit. My ""Bikini Inspector"" T-shirt's in the wash. How am I supposed to hit the town without irony?"