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Joke of the Day
"Wife: Silent Me: What's wrong? Wife: Nothing Me: Grabs shield and sword"
Next Joke
"Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me, I won't say a word about your ""wenital werpes"" *winks*"
"Not all Girl Scouts are nice. Some silent fart while you're filling out the paperwork for Thin Mints and they don't even say they're sorry."
"Two psychics run into each other in the street The first one says, ""You're fine, how am I?"""
"Dad: Why are your eyes red, son? Son: I smoke weed, dad. Dad: Don't lie to me, you were crying because you're a faggot."
"Why did the germ cross the microscope? To get to the other slide!"
"My 6yo daughter's teacher just gave me a ""Most Improved Ponytail"" award."
"Kids, in my day we didn't have text messaging. We had to write a ""Do you like me? Yes or no?"" note and pass it through 17 mutual friends."
"I stash my weed in the middle of a bunch of Russian nesting dolls so when the cops are searching for it they give up like after 5 dolls."
"Can't believe a woman would grow a life inside of her for 9 months and then name it Ian."