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Joke of the Day

"Dad: Why are your eyes red, son? Son: I smoke weed, dad. Dad: Don't lie to me, you were crying because you're a faggot."

"Now that 1 in every 3 people cheats in their relationships,I'm left wondering. . .Is it my wife or my girlfriend that's cheating?"

"The Road Runner is a pretentious, cocky fucking asshole and deserves to be eaten. Beep beep that shit, motherfucker."

"I BRAKE FOR PERPETUAL GODDAMN CONSTRUCTION ON I-16."

"I'm going back to work tomorrow after the holiday break, which means playing that annual game: What food is rotting in the office kitchen?"

"I don't have a small penis... its just ""fun sized""."

"The man who invented AutoCorrect has died. Restaurant in piece."

"Q: How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb? A: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes."

"Did you hear the one about the guy who got two tickets to the Cuckold Convention? His wife ended up taking someone else."

"Why does the American Border Patrol guard take Xanax? ... ... To stop Hispanic attacks."