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Joke of the Day

"Next year for Halloween I think I will be a dead chrysanthemum.... Then when people ask ""WTF are you"", I will reply and say ""I am a chrysanthemummy!"""

"Why can't you use sarcasm with a kleptomaniac? Because they take things literally."

"Another 69 joke So I asked my gf if she wanted to 69. She rolled her eyes and said sure as long as we can 77 after cause I'll probably finish too fast and she'll still need to be ate more."

"Which race is the most racist? The human one."

"I went to the food court today. And in the case of Pizza V Hamburger, the judge ruled in favor of the plantiff."

"How do you spell Canada? C-Eh?-N-Eh?-D-Eh?"

"Tried to sign up to a website the other day... I put my password as ""beef stew"" It said password not stroganoff."

"My wife said in the morning ""You are an idiot""... while combing her hair in front of the mirror when I walked by."

"Guy at door: How would you like to make a donation to our local orphanage? Dad: yea sure [yells up to me] son, you live with this guy now!"

"When Fnatic plays on fy_snow... OLAFmeister gets an ace"