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Joke of the Day
"[meets a cute girl from Scotland] ""Ummm hi your people make fantastic tape"""
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"""Here, throw this away for me."" ~ People who hand out leaflets."
"Got a blowjob from a blind girl last night... ..or at least I think it was a blowjob, it was dark and my bionic cock doesn't feel shit."
"The French name for I Can't Believe It's Not Butter translates literally to False Butter Has Entered Our Home"
"What did cinderella do when she got to the ball? choked"
"A Jewish boy goes up to his father and asks for 5 dollars. The father responds, ""4 dollars!! Oh my god what do you need 3 dollars for??!!!"""
"Hitting a bullseye requires a lot of practice, good aim, and running from angry, blind bulls."
"I'm not sure if Steve Jobs got into heaven... God's a bit touchy about apples..."
"My wife was so sick this morning... that I had to carry her to the kitchen to make my breakfast."
"What do you get if you cross a Rhinoceros, an elephant and a helicopter? HellIfIknow"