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Joke of the Day
"Mary had a little lamb... Boy, was she surprised."
Next Joke
"Know the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day? On St. Patrick's Day everyone wants to be Irish."
"Interviewer: Nice, a 4.0. Straight A's! Me: No, blood alcohol content."
"[Nsfw]What is in common between broccoli and anal? Both feel bad as adult, if you're forced as a child"
"ME: [on the phone] Plz come home from work WIFE: Why ME: Theres a spider in the bathroom WIFE: so kill it ME:[whispering] its got my gun"
"What's Hillary's favorite pizza place? Little Seizures Edit: credit to Joe Biggs @rambobiggs"
"If I was an author I would make my pen name... *Page Turner.*"
"My roommate called to tell me our apartment was inflamed... ...so I told him to give it some ibuprofen and put it to bed."
"""Nazis!"" - the History Channel"
"Which sex position makes the ugliest kids? Ask your parents"