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Joke of the Day

"I was trying to make a text art dinosaur today. I can't ever get the teeth right. I only seem to be able to do them ASCII-dentally."

"The toilet at my local Police Station has been stolen. Cops have nothing to go on"

"What do you call a Finn, who gets something done? -Finnished"

"Galadriel told Frodo only he could destroy the ring. Smokey Bear said only YOU can prevent wildfires. Frodo did his job; did you do yours?"

"So, what if Mohammed does a self portrait?"

"My wife went home to visit her mother today. Or as I refer to it. Her ""bitch refresher course""."

"Steal your neighbors' garden gnome. Send them a series of photos of the gnome lurking near various truck stop men's rooms."

"What's the difference between a motivational speaker and a baseball player? The baseball player has all of its limbs."

"What's grey and comes in quarts? [NSFW] Elephants."

"I had to grease a lot of palms to get to where I am today *cut to me oiling up tropical trees* haha excellent"