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Joke of the Day

"Why can't Spongebob make the honor roll? Because he's a C sponge!"

"Noah's Ark was so unrealistic. Have you ever tried to pen up velociraptors? Did the guy who wrote the Bible even watch Jurassic Park first?"

"If love at first sight was really a thing, I would've been married to Cheetara from Thundercats"

"You know what they say when you gamble with Chinese food, you dim sum, you lose some."

"What did the grand chess master say to the recovering alcoholic after he beat him in a game of chess? I was 12 steps ahead of you from the beginning!"

"If U are nervous about public speaking, no need to picture the audience naked, just realize they will be on their phone ignoring you anyway."

"Q: How does an elephant climb a tree? A: He hides in an acorn and waits for a bird to carry him up."

"*secret agent slaps me* I'll never give you answers *he grabs my throat* ""WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA"" *spits* I'd rather die"

"""Do you smell the updoc?"", I say to my pet bunny. My bunny replies with silence. I know that someday he will say it and I am willing to wait"

"I remember when peer pressure was all about drugs and promiscuous sex. Now it's Fitbit and who has the best gluten free recipes."