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Joke of the Day

"My water stopped working for a bit today. My wife immediately said, ""I'm going outside to dig a hole to catch the rain water!"" After the wife is gone I said to the rest of the family, ""she means well"""

Next Joke
 
"I have an L shaped sofa lowercase"
"A woman recently got oak breast implants... ...this joke would probably be better if it had a punchline, wooden tit."
"only thing keeping me from being stripper is about 60 pounds"
"Easter Kids' Joke 2 What do you call a brown bunny that comes a day after Easter? Choco-late."
"Him: How many glasses of wine have you had today? Me: One, but it was in the shape of a giant bottle."
"""only watch up to two hours of tv a day"" oh well i dont have time to watch tv because i stay on the internet all day so im good and healthy"
"It's official. The winner of the biggest upset in US presidential history is T-R-U-M- A-N. 1948. HUGE upset. Edit 3:30AM ET: this was a *lot* funnier when it was true."
"I bet college professors never get tired of watching freshmen get fat. I know I wouldn't."
"How quick she mentions her husband/fiance/boyfriend is directly related to how creeped out she is by you."