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Joke of the Day

"Him: How many glasses of wine have you had today? Me: One, but it was in the shape of a giant bottle."

"Man was rushed to ER after putting 4 plastic horses up his ass... After being treated, doctor described his state as stable"

"I saw the strangest thing ever today. I threw a sausage off the pier and some blind man jumped in after it, then when he reappeared out of the water, he had transformed into a Labrador."

"TIFU By Eating My Boss's Sandwich Oops wrong sub."

"""I'm usually closed off. But if you get close to me, you'll find that I'll really open up."" -Automatic sliding doors"

"A guaranteed way to make a hormone... Don't pay her..."

"I wanted to learn about amputees on Wikipedia But I didn't learn much, because the article was a stub."

"Dubai don't like 'The Flintstones'... Abu Dhabi do."

"I only believe 12.5% of what the Bible says. Which makes me an eighth theist."

"Helpful Tip.. If you are ever cold just stand in a corner... There normally 90 degrees.."