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Joke of the Day

"Why isn't Sean Connery an unmarried roofer? He's not a fan of the shingle life."

"New music is so bad you should be cool like me: longing for a fictionalized version of the past you werent even alive for in the first place"

"Friend: what has teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? Friend: my zipper Me: so what you are saying is your dick turns green when you get a boner?"

"Me: I know panty hose are a little dated but I love how they even out my skin tone Bank Teller: So is this not a robbery? Me: No, It is"

"Pretty cool to think every time the Verizon guy said ""Can you hear me now?"" the NSA was quietly answering ""Yes we can."""

"What did the customer say to the barber after looking at a facial hair catalog? I moustache you a question about this style shown here, good sir."

"Ann! do you remember me? We have so many memories together Ann: **SEGMENTATION FAULT**"

"Q: Why do men like blonde jokes?? A: Because they can understand them."

"The difference What is the difference between a portuguese woman and a sea lion ? One of them has shiny bodyhair and smells like cod, the other one is a mammal that lives in the sea."

"Q: What is Iraq's national bird? A: Duck."