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Joke of the Day

"Why is Halloween a hillbilly's favorite holiday? Because they like to pumpkin. I'll see myself out..."

"Why did the crowd watch the man futily attempt to blend oil and water for hours on end? It was unmiscible."

"Don't send vague texts to girls unless you want them read and analyzed by 7 other girls."

"A blonde walks into a library... ba dum tss thank you, thank you"

"Who are the world's fastest readers? (NSFW) 9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 8 seconds."

"How do you hear a hormone? Pay $100 for 30 minutes"

"Why cant miss piggy count to 70? Because when she gets to 69 she gets a frog in her throat."

"I think I'm going to start taking helium People are speaking very highly of it."

"I grew up in a rough part of town... The local youths used to cover me in chocolate and cream, then put a cherry on my head. Life was tough in the gateau."

"Pro tip for picking up girls - keep your back straight and lift with your knees."