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Joke of the Day

"ME: Guess who was just promoted to be the new CEO! COWORKER: Amanda. ME: Why would you assume it's a man?"

"Cancer cures smoking."

"People who tweet a lot of motivational stuff on here are the same people who reminded the teacher she forgot to give out homework."

"When I was a kid I didn't want to imagine my parents having sex, so I'd watch them from the wardrobe."

"Why did Mozart hate chickens? Because they all they ever say is Bach! Bach! Bach!"

"Racist joke,(answer this BEFORE you click) What do you call a black man flying a plane? No!!! A pilot! A fucking pilot! You racist bastard!"

"Why do pirates love Playboy Magazine? You'd think it's for the booty, but they really read it for the arrrticles."

"I'm just not convinced that banning the sale of sentient death robots decreases deaths. The research just isn't there."

"The fastest way to convert from centimeters to meters... Just remove the first 5 letters."

"Really Speedo Guy? Things aren't bad enough in the world already? You've got to display to the whole beach that you're hung like a Tic-Tac?"