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Joke of the Day

"Other Trump supporters might be racist, but I'm not. My girlfriend's black. But only the area around her eyes where I punch her."

"*tip toes out front door* *wife texts me from China* ""Where you going?"""

"My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head."

"A guy got a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his dick... Now he can play with his money, watch it grow, and you can't find a girl who can't blow a hundred dollars."

"How did the guy from Kentucky find his sister in the woods? Pretty good!"

"I hope I get a good grade on my kids science project this year."

"Circumcision jokes are.... ....pointless."

"It would be really nice if everything was coffee."

"Be the change you wish to see in the world. -Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, Franklin D. Roosevelt, and Thomas Jefferson"

"I spilled spot eraser on my dog... Now he's gone."