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Joke of the Day

"Congress looks like the worst group project ever."

"What's the difference between Australia and yogurt? At least if you leave yogurt alone for a while it develops a culture."

"My daughter hit me with this one while preparing for dinner Why did the table love playing volleyball? Because it was always getting set! I think she gets it from her mother."

"I have but one greviance with the airplane pilots. Fantastic chaps, but good God, they're never grounded."

"Reddit is like a whirlpool... Once it sucks you in you cannot escape."

"Pointed out my kids real dad to them at the car wash today. None of us are sure if I'm kidding."

"Prosecutor: Mr. Clinton did you have an improper relationship with Monica Lewinsky? Pres: Improper? ... Ain't nothing improper about that. That was one of the the sweetest interns I've ever had."

"What eats everything? An Om-nomnivore"

"Paid a homeless guy $1 for this: What's a pirate's favorite letter? (They will always say ""arrrrrrhh."") Nope, P, it's like arrrrrrhh without a leg."

"A Chick, A 1% and A Black Guy walk into a Bar and ask: ""What time is the next debate?"""