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Joke of the Day

"What's black and white and green all over? A black environmentalist."

"I have a tenuous grasp on the English language. Shakespeare? That dude's grasp on the English language was, like... twelveuous."

"My ex is looking for a job but I don't think satan is retiring anytime soon so I suppose she'll be unemployed for a while."

"I hate my dodgy household appliances... My hairdryer sucks and my vaccum blows."

"A giraffe walks into a bar And says ""Hey everybody the high balls are on me!"""

"Knock Knock? Whos There? Imaja / Imaja who ? Oh look the door opened Im out"

"*runs in out of breath* Friend: what's going on? Me: [heavy breathing] bear with me Friend: Ok *waits* *bear runs in, also out of breath*"

"I only make mistakes when I'm around people who are observant."

"I have a friend whose thighs don't touch..I was jealous until a breeze came up..It sounded like a turbo fan in wind tunnel. Small favors."

"[playing limbo at Gary's house] GARY: how low can you go? *i sleep with Gary's wife* GARY: wow, that is pretty low"