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Joke of the Day

"Maybe the UN and NATO wouldn't be so upset with the Ukraine invasion if they weren't just Russian in?"

"I've been e-mailing William Shakespeare. William Shakespeare's dead silly. No wonder he hasn't replied."

"I want you to be completely honest with me as long as you're only pointing out my strengths."

"What do you call a fish that performs brain surgeries? A neurosturgeon"

"Q: What do you get from a pampered cow? A: Spoiled milk."

"Stevie wonder just got divorced. Bet he didn't see that one coming."

"Why did Jesus deactivate his Instagram account? Because he only had 12 followers."

"WATER POLO INSTRUCTOR: ""Are you sure you know what you're doing?"" ME: [Adjusting the mask & snorkel on my horse] ""Of course I do."""

"Huh, this is a first Never had an ambulance follow me to the gym before They must know"

"Pepsi and Coke can't even be in the same restaurant together and society wants us all to get along. Pffftt."