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Joke of the Day

"I have a tenuous grasp on the English language. Shakespeare? That dude's grasp on the English language was, like... twelveuous."

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you."

"Am I deceitful? Yes. I am not."

"A far right party wins an election in Germany with 60% of the vote. I did nazi that coming"

"Finally found out why MTV doesn't do crossover episodes The FCC had some serious problems with ""Pimp my Pregnant 16 Year Old."""

"What's the difference between an establishment where alcohol is served and an elephant passing gas? One is a Bar Room, the other is a BAROOOM!"

"Larry La Prise, the creator of the hokey pokey died this week.... Every thing went well with the funeral except putting the body in the casket They put the left leg in.... And then the trouble started"

"Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are talking. Harry says, ""Ron, I'm gay."" ""Are you fucking serious?!"" asks Ron. ""Yeah...that too,"" says Harry."

"Helping my kid memorize a list of cities and accidentally wrote a Pitbull song."

"GENIE: u get 3 wishes! ME: for my first wish, I want a never-ending bowl of guac GENIE: guac, huh? Yeah, that's gonna cost you an extra wish"