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Joke of the Day

"I have a tenuous grasp on the English language. Shakespeare? That dude's grasp on the English language was, like... twelveuous."

"Wait,,,, What does it mean when my bride uses air quotes during the vows???"

"Her cup size will determine how long the hug will last!"

"This guy at my work is giving his wife a gym membership for Christmas. His name was John."

"What do you call it when you meet somebody in a bathroom at a conference? Pee-er to pee-er networking (P2P)."

"Why did a hungry African man crossed the road? To get the aids."

"I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. ""Something that buzzes and is guaranteed to drive me crazy"" she replied. So I bought her a pet mosquito."

"How did the captain of the u-boat announce to his crew that there were no more passports to go around? This sub has officially run out of IDs."

"My buddy is awesome at grilling steaks. They are all very well done"

"What's the difference between Hitler and Keemstar? Hitler knew when to kill himself. Edit: Holy shit 200+ likes."