81950

Joke of the Day

"Birdie birdie in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye I didn't cry I didn't sigh I thank god cows can't fly"

"I told my doctor that I keep getting embarrassing erections. He said, ""It's OK. Just think of your grandma."" As I sat there with my cock in my hand, I said, ""Then what?"""

"I bought a My Little Pony T-shirt the other day. Because sometimes I just don't want anyone to approach me for any reason at all."

"I just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, and I thought to myself, Wow, dogs are easily entertained. Then I realized : I just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes."

"At least I now know why the lions leave the plains before the end of summer. Because the Pride goeth before the Fall."

"When I see.... ...lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date."

"How long does it take to burn a candle down ? About a wick !"

"IAmA hot dog cart owner, AMA my weiner!"

"What do you call a jerk in the space program? Nasshole."

"If you honestly think I want to hear about the details of your dream you're still fucking dreaming."