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Joke of the Day

"I told my doctor that I keep getting embarrassing erections. He said, ""It's OK. Just think of your grandma."" As I sat there with my cock in my hand, I said, ""Then what?"""

"I used to have to read my kids a bedtime story every single night until I started randomly killing off characters to amuse myself."

"What's the most important part of making a Mexican joke ? Making sure that no Juan hears you."

"Why isn't Hitler invited to any barbecues? Because he always burns the franks."

"I keep getting a message that ""Twitter is having issues""nnGood job guys...we drove twitter crazy!"

"*Weather changes* BODY: This is weird. Must have an asthma attack. *Anything else changes* MIND: This is weird. Must have a panic attack."

"What's the most reliable thing about a Honda? It's theft rate."

"Marijuana is the answer! (I don't remember the question)"

"TIL that Benjamin Franklin loved containers. It was frequently said that Ben was on a bin binge."

"Two yogurts are sitting on a shelf... One yogurt starts talking about art, so the other turns and says, ""wow, you sure are cultured."""