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Joke of the Day

"I just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, and I thought to myself, Wow, dogs are easily entertained. Then I realized : I just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes."

"What part does Woody Harrelson want to be remembered for most? Harrelson's woodie."

"How 'Words' are created.. The early bird catches the worm. Holds it hostage. Stockholm Syndrome sets in. The worm and bird have babies."

"Why do scuba divers jump off the boat backwards? Because if they jumped forwards they'd still be in the boat."

"I hate three things (1) Posting on /r/Jokes (2) Lists (3) Irony"

"What adjective do you use to describe a bad pun? Pungent"

"What's the worst part about Tupac's new sitcom? The Holocaust. (pun, hologram deal)"

"The difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler. Usain Bolt managed to finish a race while Hitler couldn't."

"ME *sees baby crab in stroller*: He's so cute! I just wanna rip his lil legs off dip em in butter and eat them! MOM CRAB *beaming*: thank u"

"I asked Yoda: ""Are we going the right way?"" ""No, backwards, I am going."""