14926

Joke of the Day

"I just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, and I thought to myself, Wow, dogs are easily entertained. Then I realized : I just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes."

"I like telling car salesmen ""Listen, we both know I'm not here to buy a car"" and trying to figure out what it is they think I'm there to do"

"What tense do Italians speak in? Pasta continuous."

"Keep microwaving fish in the office and stop wondering why you never get a desk by the windows."

"How do Etheopians celebrate their first birthday? By putting flowers on the grave"

"Life's like a bird, it's pretty cute until it shits on your head."

"*crawls seductively across bed* *elbow gives out*"

"How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her."

"Back in the day I was attracted to this chick but never had enough guts to ask her out but after witnessing first hand the drama she creates on Facebook I am glad I dodged that bullet."

"What do you call it when many people drown in Berlin? A killing Spree."