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Joke of the Day

"When I see.... ...lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date."

"What did aged mother cheddar say to her son the day of school photos? Looking sharp."

"What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved."

"Me: who's a good dog? who's a good dog? Dog: i have a boyfriend"

"Did you hear about the explosion in the cheese factory? All that was left was de-Brie"

"What kind of stretches does a pencil do? Ticondeyoga"

"Appalachian Dictionary Virgin: (noun) - A 12 year old girl that can run faster than her brother."

"A Moment of Silence Let's all spare a few moments of silence for the man who told his wife he was going to China on that Malaysian flight no MH. 370 and now can't come out of his girlfriend's flat."

"[Penn and Teller getting a loan for their comedy act] ""Ok all you guys need is a name"" *they look around bank for ideas*"

"Spez tells us that we should take our time to vote today, because it ""matters""... That's the fucking joke."