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Joke of the Day

"I'm having trouble organizing a Hide and Seek league. Good players are hard to find."

"What do sexy farmers say all day? ""Brown-chicken-brown-cow!"" And then they swagger a bit."

"complaining about your wife's stories will result in having to sit through her story about the time you complained about her stories"

"Apparently, Walt Disney was a secret FBI snitch for 26 years so I guess you could say he was a rat who was famous for drawing a mouse."

"Just turned off porch light and saw a moth take off flying towards the moon. Good luck buddy, if you make it back, sell the story to Pixar."

"I feel like I could beat a polygraph test every time I tell someone that I'll make sure to return the Tupperware that the dish came in."

"Theres a dating website for people that believe the government is ran by lizard people so I really have no excuse for being single"

"I'd like to take a moment to thank everyone who took time out of her or his busy schedule to tell me, ""omg you look like hell."""

"Went to a talk at the pencil factory they made a series of excellent points"

"Can you write off a divorce as a home improvement expense"