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Joke of the Day

"I feel like I could beat a polygraph test every time I tell someone that I'll make sure to return the Tupperware that the dish came in."

"Two silkworms have a race..... .....it ended in a tie!"

"Contrary to popular belief, it's actually the fat that makes you look fat. It was never the dress"

"What does an author have after they get abdominal surgery? A semi-colon"

"Why wouldn't the piglet's mother let her read romantic novels? She was afraid her daughter would run away with a wolf."

"I have a joke for you that has no punchline."

"Vacationing in Switzerland ""So did you enjoy the beautiful scenery?"" ""I couldn't really see much because of the mountains."""

"What's the difference between an Nvidia card and an AMD card? One empties your pocket. The other makes Hot Pockets."

"Grapes What did the green grape say to the purple grape? ""Breath, stupid!"""

"*forward*reverse*forward* *reverse*forward*reverse*... --someone in an electric wheelchair giving a blowjob."