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Joke of the Day

"The only thing sexier than a girl wearing glasses is a girl wearing only glasses."

"Yo momma so old, Her birth certificate says EXPIRED"

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the pizza before it was cool."

"It's so awkward when a bird arrives back at its nest and the worms in its mouth realise that wasn't just a free aerial tour of the city."

"What do you call an Irish man that bounces off of walls? Rick O'Shea."

"[Programming] Stupid Bugs... 99 bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code. Take one down, pass it around, 127 bugs in the code. Credit: Benetha619, who donated $5.00 during SethBling's stream today."

"I'd prefer to read Yelp reviews from the kind of person who would never write a Yelp review."

"There once was a man from Nantucket... Whose dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin: ""If my ear was a cunt I would fuck it."""

"My kid wants pizza without the crust AND a side of breadsticks. It appears I've given birth to everything that's wrong with America."

"who says homosexuality isn't a decision? i turn women gay all the time."