188715

Joke of the Day

"It's so awkward when a bird arrives back at its nest and the worms in its mouth realise that wasn't just a free aerial tour of the city."

"Office morale has increased noticeably since we put a tarp over Dave's body"

"I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo."

"I've discovered I own five umbrellas, if anyone wants to stage a musical number."

"What does Ivanka call her lower back tattoo? A Trump stamp."

"My wife sent me out looking for a hard to find French cheese... It's called camofromage. Sorry this joke is so cheesy, but my kid thought it was Gouda."

"How do you make a hormone? Or, as this joke was retold to me by my idiotic friend : ""How do you make a prostitute upset?"""

"People are generally unhappy until they get what they want, then the cycle starts all over again."

"What are the two things someone with a face tattoo never hears? ""You're hired"" ""Not guilty"""

"I added Michael J Fox as a friend on Instagram... He likes every single one of my photos."