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Joke of the Day

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the pizza before it was cool."

Next Joke
 
"So today I found out I have Alzheimer's disease... But on the bright side, at least I don't have Alzheimer's disease."
"My shorts are hydrophobic They don't repel water, they just think it shouldn't be able to adopt or get married."
"Just got my invitation to Lady Gaga's wedding reception. I can choose between beef or chicken. Not for the meal, that's the dress code."
"What do you call a cow that just gave birth? DECALFINATED"
"Why don't Malaysian TV shows get commissioned? Because they all have terrible pilots."
"A vegan, a crossfitter, and an atheist are sitting in a bar. But you wouldnt know it, thanks to the Texan telling you all about Texas"
"What's long and smells like shit? The unemployment line."
"How do you piss off /r/jokes? Jokes: son-of-a-b***h"
"Jokes about menstrual cycles are not funny. Period."