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Joke of the Day

"I've spent my whole life trying to find a girl with a psychiatric disorder that makes her think she's a woodpecker."

"When someone says something was made with ""love"" what exactly does that mean? Did they jerk one off into the center of my cupcake?"

"I told my boss that I'm quitting my job to become a comedian. He said, ""You can't be serious."" I said, ""I know."""

"Why is the sky blue? And how can we cheer it up?"

"A Social Media Consultant walks into a bar and orders a drink. He copies-and-pastes the drink to five other bars and requests that they become a fan of it, then bills the first bar for six drinks."

"What's the difference between a pizza and a prostitute? You can order one of them without mushrooms."

"My therapist raped me. Who can I talk to about that?"

"What is the only part of a vegetable you cannot eat? The wheelchair."

"What's the policy at French morgues? Baguette and tag it."

"I was gonna tell you about anal But fuck it"