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Joke of the Day

"A Social Media Consultant walks into a bar and orders a drink. He copies-and-pastes the drink to five other bars and requests that they become a fan of it, then bills the first bar for six drinks."

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"You can lead a horse to water and if he walks on it congratulations you found horse jesus."
"Some lady at Olive Garden died, so we're rummaging through her stuff. Just like a real family."
"Apathy, lethargy, stationary. Words to live by."
"There is a Hispanic train conductor going around committing horrible crimes.. No one knows why, but it's clear he has a loco motive."
"School of Terrorism, Suicide Bomber course... Instructor: *Alright pay attention class, I'm only gonna do this once.*"
"What do you call a really cranky shaman with bad breath and osteoporosis? A Super-calloused-fragile-mystic-hexed-by-halitosis"
"Why are Paris's streets lined with trees? German soldiers like to march in the shade."
"I asked my Welsh mate how many sexual partners he's had. He started counting and fell asleep."
"Why can't Mexicans play Uno? They always steal the green cards."