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Joke of the Day

"I told my boss that I'm quitting my job to become a comedian. He said, ""You can't be serious."" I said, ""I know."""

"What kind of hotdog did the Buddha order from the street vendor? One with everything"

"What is the world coming to? Youporn"

"What does a pirate from Boston say? Aaahhh."

"If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. There's nothing more endearing than happy people applauding themselves."

"To the ""Girls gone Wild"" girls: When flashing your boobs try not to stick your tongues out. It makes you look trashy."

"Why does Bill Clinton chew gum all the time? He has an oral fixation."

"If women are people, why are they so stupid? Seriously. Even the smartest and most accomplished women are dumber than the most retarded head lice."

"I accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I'm the proud owner of aisle 4."

"[David Attenborough narrating my life] Once again the young offspring attempts to leave the nest. Once again he has flown into a wall"