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Joke of the Day

"So far, not a single girl I've asked is interested in a fling. I don't think they trust my human catapult."

"Drinking American beer is like making love in a canoe... It's fucking too close to water."

"My favourite Haiku Space is limited In a haiku, so it's hard To finish what you"

"the kidzbop version of gangnam style is why terrorists hate us."

"What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with ""C"" and ends with ""T"", and has a ""U"" and an ""N"" in it? A coconut."

"I wouldn't create a palindrome for a Klondike Bar. But I'd... Murder for a jar of red rum."

"My friend says that I've lost touch with reality but I told the pillow, that was absurd and to lower his voice before he woke the avocado."

"What was the proudest moment of Bill Clinton's life? When he was given Head Of State"

"Doctor: ""I'm sorry.... Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""

"I visited a proctologist the other day... It was a real bummer."