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Joke of the Day

"You may think a squirt of water in the face is the best way to reprimand cats but turns out it works pretty well on people too."

"Whats fat on the bottom, skinny on the top, and has ears? Mountains! ...what? You've never head of mountaineers?"

"I just broke up with my blind girlfriend. We just didn't see eye to eye anymore."

"Teacher: How much is half of 8 Pupil: Up and down or across ? Teacher: What do you mean ? Pupil: Wellup and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0"

"Q: How did Bill Cosby find his daughter in the woods? A: Pretty good"

"I've got a circle with a vertical line through it on my bedroom ceiling It's my hi-phi"

"What do you call a badly cooked beef? A misteak."

"Honestly sometimes I STILL think about how dope it is that I don't have any homework."

"What happened when the cannibal was late to the dinner party? He got the cold shoulder."

"Me: So, you come here often? Him: .....we're in my house."